It’s 5:15 in the morning, and my alarm clock bangs my head like thunderstorm.
My eyes don’t open easily, they are weak and a bit dry.
I only slept 3 hours, after more than 5 hours being on the train and meeting an important person for work (thankfully, he turned out to be a wonderful dude. We had a great time eating Korean BBQ, talking about renewable energy, climate change, football, rugby, and so on). But I was still tired and my bed feels like heaven.
But I get up, because I need to go back to my workplace. I reserved 6:05 bus, and that will take me to work right on time.
I am technically on ‘business trip’ for the day in my work system, but my duties are done. I could easily sleep in and report back to my work late afternoon, but there are works to be done. But mainly, I want to come back to my workplace and show my boss that I am responsible. I imagine his smile and few pats on my back, and telling me how good it feels to have someone like me working for him.
When I come back, I find out my boss is not even in the office as he is on a business trip to another city. Whole day I am not productive and cranky because I didn’t get enough sleep. I don’t get much done, and I don’t even get to see my boss for the entire day. Later in the afternoon, he comes back, but simply gives me a nod and walks in the office talking on the phone.
That’s when it hit me that I was just trying to please him, when I should have asked myself what would be the best way to put me into the best state to do my work efficiently and right. I wanted to be seen working hard, rather than doing it right.
Oh well. For today, that was that.
I give myself that. Because I learned a good lesson.
Trying to please someone doesn’t really accomplish anything.
You either show up and do a good job, or your showing won’t matter as much as you want it to be.